I grew up with a dream of having my own fairy tale, adding chapters to that vision every single day and imagining how perfect it would be with my prince charming. But reality does not abide by your plans and life throws you curveballs. What actually happened was that, I was barely married for two years and standing at the brink of a divorce with a year old son. And if you are willing to learn the process of getting a divorce can teach you so many things.
- I learnt to pick myself up piece by piece and reform me, creating version 2.0. It was tough, because the only thing I wanted to do is wallow in self pity, and all the wallowing did feel good but eventually I realised that I have to get up. No one was going to do it for me.
- I began to understand myself better because no one around me could. I turned to people for advice but they weren’t able to help. They could never understand that even though it was a bad relationship, it still was two years of my life, two years where I had invested my heart and soul in trying to make the best of what I had.
- I learnt not to feel sorry for myself. More than half the people I knew were doing that for me and it did not feel good.
- I had the backing of an amazing family who refused to feel sorry for me (they still refuse to), and found friends that are proud of the person I am. And these are the people who are a part of my life and my son’s life today and who will be there forever.
- I also found that not everyone in society looked at divorce negatively. It did not make a single iota of difference to them as to whether I was married or not. I have learnt that the people who value me for me and not for a relationship status are my true friends and well wishers.
- I learnt to believe in myself and what it means to truly be confident and face the world with my head held high. I also know how hard it was to stand up for what I believed in, when the people were branding me selfish, and through that the only thing that kept me strong is the belief that I am the only one that knows what is right for me and my son (until he starts thinking for himself, then it will be a whole new ball game).
- I learnt the value of pursuing my dreams, my talents, of happiness (the true wala happiness not the fairy tale kind), of friends and friendships, of trust and of confidence. Some bad things in life end up being good for you after all.
About Jaibala Rao
Jaibala Rao is a Writer and a Poet whose life revolves around the people she loves, her family, her friends and her toddler. Having been reading since the moment she learnt the alphabets, stories have given her many adventures. Every moment fascinates her and she believes there is something good in everything. When she writes she tries to write about a moment or an emotion, a story that caught her attention. She draws inspiration from everything around her and tries to put forth her opinion. She has just taken a tiny step into the writing world, by writing on her blog and online magazines.
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