Lessons Learned from a Child-bride

sunila2 105x300 Lessons Learned from a Child bride

Sunila Vig

A few months into the first year and she was gone. She had just begun her Bachelors degree. Married at 18, mother at 20 and again at 22, I met her two decades after I completed my college studies.

While the rest of us assumed that everything had been hunky dory with her life, it hadn’t. Here are some priceless learning from her life.

Dedication and duty

Dreams laced her eyelashes as she walked into her new life. What she found though was far different from her expectations. Unexposed to the grey areas of life, she was not much more than a child, unprepared for the irregularities that life can throw at one.

Life was regular in some ways, though.

Her babies became her mainstay and her entire mind and heart got wrapped around them. Her energies went into doing her best as a parent. Her grown up children stand testimony to her dedication. She gave her all, to them. With the others she stayed ever dutiful.

Karmic debt

She went through the usual cycle of shock, dejection, anger born of misery, cynicism and finally resignation. Bitterness gave way to acceptance. Today she is of the view that if we allow resentment to leave us, it will drop away. All we need to do is not stand in the way and not cling on to past grudges with the madness of an addict. What harmful choices anyone close to us or we ourselves have unknowingly made for us, the harm that has come our way in any manner is all a debt we are settling from another lifetime, which once cleared leaves us debt-free and with a valuable lesson if we are ready to learn.


I saw her giving of herself freely, no holds barred in any situation she was in. Be it time, money, effort or her friendship and care. To people around her she does whatever they ask of her without a second thought. To a cousin’s charity, she gives whatever she can in cash, kind or time.

This also ends up in her giving her own self fully to any experience that comes her way.


Her trust borders on naivete. This is how I was up until I had a child when I became a bit more careful and cautious. When the travel bug bites, she is up and off, alone or with people-at any hour, in any clime. Generally with a pinch of common sense one gets what one gives out, and so she has been fairly safe since the universe has mirrored the trust she exhudes, back at her. As an extension of this quality, she is quick to see the goodness within people and ever ready to forget and move on.


She is a trained Pranic healer and has helped her children feel better many a time in their growing years, from their aches and pains. Though she doesn’t use the healing actively right now, she has an awareness of energies- of people, of places, of her surroundings. Outwardly flippant, she exists on a subtle plane inside of herself.

May you only grow and gain from your own wisdom, my friend.

About Sunila

Sunila lived in Australia for twelve years and all over India as a child. Now she lives in Bangalore, India with her family.

She is a lecturer of Communication to MBA students and is a practising Yoga teacher.  Sunila was introduced to books by book-loving parents at an early age and devoured them at every opportunity.

Nature, music and art mean a lot to her and she loves solitude and noisy fun in equal measure. She expresses herself through a variety of creative channels-singing, pottery, sketching and writing.

Sunila writes fiction and poetry both in English and Hindi. Her debut collection of short stories in Hindi, “Nirjharr”, was published by the Karnataka Hindi Sahitya Parishad.

Poetry and short stories authored by her have been published in a variety of medium. She is a Post graduate in English Literature from Kuvempu University in the verdant Malnad region of Karnataka, that has given the world a large number of writers and artists.

She can be reached through her FB page https://www.facebook.com/SunilaVigAuthor?ref=hl

Blog www.sunilavigauthor.blogspot.com

Twitter @whitefielder


  • http://letbeautybeyourconstantideal.blogspot.in/ Beloo Mehra

    Some wonderful lessons, once again, Sunila! I found reading the section on Karmic debt very therapeutic. Thanks for sharing!

    • Sunila Vig

      Tks dear Beloo , meeting this friend and spending time with her was therapeutic for me too.

  • pythoroshan

    A lot of those personality traits resonated with me. I too was naive to the core and would always allow my past to haunt me. It took a long time to move forward but I slowly did… and it was the most liberating feeling I ever had.

    • Sunila Vig

      Glad this resonated with you and that you had the strength to move forward and be liberated :)

  • http://www.everydaygyaan.com/ Corinne Rodrigues

    Oh she sounds a lot like another woman I know, Sunila. I am always amazed at the resilience of women like her. Thank you for sharing.

    • Sunila Vig

      Corinne thats gr8 :) Yes its amazing how resilient yet sensitive women can be

  • http://www.shailajav.wordpress.com Moving Quill/Doting Mom

    She sounds like a very strong woman, Sunila. So nice to have read about her through this article.

    • Sunila Vig

      Tks Shailaja, yes she is and the interesting thing is she didn’t realise that she was all this and more till she read this post :D

  • Carol Graham

    I had to stop and ponder this after I read it. It struck a cord with me and I applaud her strength and tenacity. Nicely done post in every way.

    • Sunila Vig

      Tks Carol :)