‘A therapist is the weather: They provide a Climate for change’- Milton Erickson
When I entered the magical world of NLP in July 2013, little did I know that I will get even more ability to transform the lives of people around me, instantly. I discovered the immense potential hidden within me and this discovery led me to accomplish many things, which I earlier thought were impossible. I quit my corporate career and I started working with parents, couples and children as a therapist, coach and a friend.
The past twelve months have taught me many profound lessons and I consider myself blessed to have chosen this field of working with other human beings.
Too many times we tend to judge people by their behaviours, don’t we? If we see a mother yelling at a child, we label them as a bad parent, or if we see someone sad, we term them depressed. It just takes a minute for us to label them, but what if we drop these judgements and look beyond the behaviour. A significant lesson I learnt here was, ‘There are no un-resourceful people there are only un-resourceful states’. There is no angry person, shy person or depressed person. Anger, shyness, anxiety and depression are just emotional states and these can be controlled with the right tools.
When we face problems or are stuck in challenging situations, we tend to ask, ‘Why me?’, but what if we ask a different question, ‘What has this situation taught me?’ ‘How differently can I do things, so that I succeed?’ Have you ever asked such questions…? I learnt that when we ask the right questions, we get right answers, which help us to get out of the challenging situations easily.
Often misunderstandings break a wonderful relationship, the reason being our way of communication. We must have learnt the art of communication in books or in workshops, but the ‘essence of communication is the response that we get’. The rules written in books are universal, but each person we meet has a different way to look at things. We have to communicate in a way that matches the reality of that particular individual. If we are able to do that, then we can build rapport and get the desired response, successfully.
Our life is the after effect of the decisions that we take and our decisions are highly influenced by the choices that we have. And the wonderful part is, at any given point of time, people choose what is best for them, if they have the right choices. As a therapist, all I do is show my clients the various choices they have and give them a direction so that they choose the best and the most resourceful choice of all.
At times laughing at our problems solves many things, easily. Yes you read it right; humour lightens the situations and gives us a fresh pair of eyes to see things differently.
I once meet a mom, whose normal routine was to worry, worry whether she will get a rickshaw, whether she will get train, reach office on time, finish her deadlines, will be able to spend quality time with children and so on… This habit tied her down and she couldn’t perform well. I suggested that she should set aside 30 minutes every morning to worry. She gave me a confused look, but I assured her that all she needs is 30minutes of worry time in a day. But after that I emphasised that she should completely focus on the tasks in her hand. She first laughed at that idea, but the very next day told me that she is able to focus even more of her tasks and that worry has vanished. Different actions yield different results.
What we are today is a mix of our environment in which we were born and raised, the beliefs that were instilled and the values that we cherished from childhood. If any of these limits our success, then it is time that we instil new and powerful beliefs, embrace empowering values, such that it alters our internal and external environment effectively. As a therapist and coach, I have realised that we all have an exceptional potential to sustain and succeed, despite all odds, the challenge only lies in tapping the potential.
May this festive season, help you tap that inner potential and show you many ways to reach your ultimate goals. Happy Ganesh Chaturthi.
A curious student of Life, Gayatri believes in the power of Dreams. She quit her career as a Research Associate to follow her passion of writing and interacting with people. A Master Practitioner of NLP, she is a NLP Healer and a life coach. She can be found at “Outside the Kitchen Window” (firstname.lastname@example.org ) wielding her magical wand to pen her thoughts, poems, fictitious stories, mouth-tingling recipes and book